I saw her scars

The drawing's all wrong, it should come down.

It's probably for the best anyway

Not sure how long I've been here.

I should think of something, so I can tell mum that I've been doing something today, she'll get mad otherwise, maybe been down glozzer and done some work.

Is that all dust? God that's gross, sellotape.

I suppose it has been there for years

If she says you should have your hair cut when I get mine done, does that mean she thinks my hair looks bad… I'll think about it

That tax form

I need to copy those CD's for Sarah.

Fuck

Her scars, but then I sort of didn't believe it; I thought it must be something else, scratches from her cat or …, something else. But there's too many,

god there's loads.

She noticed when I saw them and she put her hand over them, I want her to be able to show them to me.

I think I understand, but I'm not sure if she does. It makes sense I suppose, but it's too painful and so awful. I don't know what to think,

I want to help her, be there for her.

I can't believe how terrified I am of her, she 14 for fuck sake, but stands so far from me, I can hardly feel her.

I know you want me to wrap you in my heart. I know that's what you need. But you're out of my reach and we're too different.

Now it's my guilt, for not being there, and turning this into being about me. I don't know what to do about it.

…….

7. Uneven, if I add the two inside walls and the floor, that's 10. better.

That's the car, there back; I'd better go down.

 

By Alice Rolfe